Friday, August 28, 2009
The Curlew Syndicate
As most of you already know, we have quite the little criminal at our house. Lately all the benjamins and meff have really started going to her head. Not only is she dressing in outlandish outfits made of silk and diamonds,
But she has now decided that she needs to "expand her opewation". She told me that although Chica Blanca is her numewa una, she thinks that she needs some more expertise in different areas. "You can't make a living with chickens, daddy, and mommy loves those dirty things." Which is true!
So, on our vacation to Florida, she recruited a few new members from up North. I'm still not sure that these were the best selections, but then again I don't have a meth distribution outfit or a tri-state monopoly on fighting chickens.
Meet Double W, the White Whale. He is responsible for Fay's new interest in white collar crime.
So, on our vacation to Florida, she recruited a few new members from up North. I'm still not sure that these were the best selections, but then again I don't have a meth distribution outfit or a tri-state monopoly on fighting chickens.
Meet Double W, the White Whale. He is responsible for Fay's new interest in white collar crime.
This is the Quarter, also known as LT. Look how happy she is to have been selected to be a member. It was all laughter and popsicles for the first few hours!
You'll notice that Fay and the Quarter have a lot in common (glug, glug)!
It was not long after this pic that LT was told the following, "Get your smiley ass in the car, get to Publix and get some supplies! And get daddy some Budweiser!" Needless to say, the Quarter took care of business asap.
It was not long after this pic that LT was told the following, "Get your smiley ass in the car, get to Publix and get some supplies! And get daddy some Budweiser!" Needless to say, the Quarter took care of business asap.
You can still see a little attitude on the Quarter in this shot, but let's just say that when Fay saw she only brought a 12-pack that there was a whole new look on her face, called broken nose.
Things really sort of degenerated after this. I'll try to document what I remember, so that those hoping to be part of the Curlew Syndicate will know what they are getting into. As Fay told me, "No more fucking amateurs. I'm sick of doing twaining!"
The photo below was taken just after the beer run, and just before Fay screamed, "How am I supposed to reach my Arnold Palmer, goddamit!" She also made them build a bed on the porch for her and Duck Man X (I'm not allowed to talk much about him).
Things really sort of degenerated after this. I'll try to document what I remember, so that those hoping to be part of the Curlew Syndicate will know what they are getting into. As Fay told me, "No more fucking amateurs. I'm sick of doing twaining!"
The photo below was taken just after the beer run, and just before Fay screamed, "How am I supposed to reach my Arnold Palmer, goddamit!" She also made them build a bed on the porch for her and Duck Man X (I'm not allowed to talk much about him).
She really seems to be so happy and calm, and then it's like a hyena attacks!
The following day, Fay took Double W and the Quarter down to the beach to show them the new locations she'd been scouting. It looks like she's not even paying attention, but believe me, she is. There is a 120 volt cattle prod underneath that towel, just ask the Whale.
The following day, Fay took Double W and the Quarter down to the beach to show them the new locations she'd been scouting. It looks like she's not even paying attention, but believe me, she is. There is a 120 volt cattle prod underneath that towel, just ask the Whale.
Finally, there was the big mistake on the final day of our vacation. The new guys decided to arrive at the beach 7 minutes late, without even a cooler.
Fay then demonstrated for them what would happen the very next time they were late.
That's right, if you're late, she cuts off your feet! She's brutal, and effective in imprinting terror on all around her.
This final set of pictures says it all, look at the terror in the eyes of Double W when Fay asks me to demonstrate where his feet will be, it really tells the whole story.
