Wednesday, March 30, 2005
MISTAKEN ORIGIN OF MONKEY
In my previous post I mentioned that the Buttonhead Tamarin is only found in Southwest Florida. Well, due to some recent experiences we have concluded that this may not actually be the case. This particular tamarin monkey was born here in Southwest Florida, but it seems that the origin of this species may be somewhere a little more sinister. We have determined this through several field studies we have done with our little tamarin.
What we have noticed is that if you get your face down close to this monkey to kiss her or talk quietly while she is doing her primal screaming, she will immediately try to grab you with her mouth. KSG says that this is because she is so young and thinks that everything near her face is a food source. But, I have had a lot of anthropological experience with this particular species of monkey, and through my studies have determined that she is just trying to do something genetically encoded in her.
Therefore, I have determined that Buttonhead Tamarins are from France. You can't argue with the scientific process.
What we have noticed is that if you get your face down close to this monkey to kiss her or talk quietly while she is doing her primal screaming, she will immediately try to grab you with her mouth. KSG says that this is because she is so young and thinks that everything near her face is a food source. But, I have had a lot of anthropological experience with this particular species of monkey, and through my studies have determined that she is just trying to do something genetically encoded in her.
Therefore, I have determined that Buttonhead Tamarins are from France. You can't argue with the scientific process.
Thursday, March 24, 2005
BUTTONHEAD TAMARIN
In early March, my wife and I were lucky enough to acquire a Buttonhead Tamarin, a rare type of monkey found only in Southwest Florida. Unlike a gorilla or gibbon, this type of monkey is more of a dainty, flowerlike creature than their loudmouth, rope swinging cousins. From what we can determine, this type of primate is mostly nocturnal, spending most of the daylight hours in states of napping or silently feeding. However, after dark all hell breaks loose. Since the Buttonhead Tamarin is such a small creature, and ours is so young, we are responsible for it's maintenance and feeding. In the past few weeks alone, I have seen the Girls Gone Wild infomercial about 75 times, all thanks to our new little friend.
Anyway, enough about the logistics and maintenance, and on to the connection to the Naples Beluga. The other evening, I believe during viewing number 66 of the Girls Gone Wild infomercial, or perhaps during a viewing of the Wild Party Girls infomercial, which I'm pretty sure is the same premise though I have to watch them in silent mode so as not to startle this small, precious creature. So, during one of these times, she just looks up at me from her little perch and says, "Tell the Beluga that if I can do that to a pod of dolphins, just think what I can do to a small dog." Now, of course this made no sense to me, but at the same time sort of frightened me since the Beluga and I had a falling out during last year's Super Bowl festivities due to his brazen lack of compassion and complete misrepresentation concerning a certain person's promised pina colada!
So, the following day, with much apprehension, I phoned the Naples Beluga at his winter home in lovely Cleveland Ohio. He seemed to know exactly what I was referring to, and said that I was only in possession of the Buttonhead Tamarin in order to act as an intermediary for him. It looks like now I will not only have to try and forget about the pina colada incident (FORGIVE, NEVER!), but actually let him come to visit with the Buttonhead Tamarin sometime during the following year. I am so outraged, I am almost without words!
Buttonhead Tamarins are pretty cute though. Their poop looks like mustard, with seeds in it.
Anyway, enough about the logistics and maintenance, and on to the connection to the Naples Beluga. The other evening, I believe during viewing number 66 of the Girls Gone Wild infomercial, or perhaps during a viewing of the Wild Party Girls infomercial, which I'm pretty sure is the same premise though I have to watch them in silent mode so as not to startle this small, precious creature. So, during one of these times, she just looks up at me from her little perch and says, "Tell the Beluga that if I can do that to a pod of dolphins, just think what I can do to a small dog." Now, of course this made no sense to me, but at the same time sort of frightened me since the Beluga and I had a falling out during last year's Super Bowl festivities due to his brazen lack of compassion and complete misrepresentation concerning a certain person's promised pina colada!
So, the following day, with much apprehension, I phoned the Naples Beluga at his winter home in lovely Cleveland Ohio. He seemed to know exactly what I was referring to, and said that I was only in possession of the Buttonhead Tamarin in order to act as an intermediary for him. It looks like now I will not only have to try and forget about the pina colada incident (FORGIVE, NEVER!), but actually let him come to visit with the Buttonhead Tamarin sometime during the following year. I am so outraged, I am almost without words!
Buttonhead Tamarins are pretty cute though. Their poop looks like mustard, with seeds in it.
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
UMBILICAL CORD BLOOD
As you may or may not know, our first (and only) child will be arriving on Friday. Now, having no previous experience with this sort of thing, there have been a few surprises. While there are some rather funny, and other rather gross things that happen during this wonderful time, the most disturbing is the unbelievable thirst for umbilical cord blood.
Everywhere that we go; doctor's office, email pregnancy update, prenatal vitamin inserts, they are clamoring to get their hands on the stem cells of THE CHOSEN ONE.
It's kind of freaking me out, but I may just take a little sip of it.
Everywhere that we go; doctor's office, email pregnancy update, prenatal vitamin inserts, they are clamoring to get their hands on the stem cells of THE CHOSEN ONE.
It's kind of freaking me out, but I may just take a little sip of it.
