Thursday, April 28, 2005
MR. MOM
I will be playing Mr. Mom for the next 6 weeks with Buttonhead. Everyone seems to think that caring for a little monkey is oh so hard, but I don't think so. We have plenty of bottles of monkey formula and diapers with tail holes cut out, and really the tailhole cutting is the hardest part!
I'll try to keep this site as updated as possible, but I think I'll probably be more than a little busy being Mr. Mom, and watching the delightful Michael Keaton film of the same title.
Feel free to stop by and visit anytime, I'll even let you hold the monkey, if she likes you.
Except for Darrell, still pretty upset at him...
I'll try to keep this site as updated as possible, but I think I'll probably be more than a little busy being Mr. Mom, and watching the delightful Michael Keaton film of the same title.
Feel free to stop by and visit anytime, I'll even let you hold the monkey, if she likes you.
Except for Darrell, still pretty upset at him...
Friday, April 22, 2005
SAD AND PATHETIC
I had the great treat of getting to talk to the Beluga over the phone yesterday. He was yammering on and on in his nervous way (he's always nervous since he knows that the pina colada incident was fundamentally wrong), and telling me all the wonderful things that there are to do in Cleveland, Ohio.
So, he happened to mention some other acquaintances of mine from that area who have never promised me a cool, fruity beverage and then cruelly renegged on that offer; and I asked where he was when he saw them.
Now, this is where it gets really pathetic. He tells me he ran into them at a Cleveland Indians baseball game-which is believable.
So, I ask, what were they doing there? To this, he stammers, it was actually at a bar near Jacobs Field-still believable.
Which one? The Thirsty Parrot! Come on! What kind of fucking moron would name a bar in downtown Cleveland "The Thirsty Parrot"?! We all know what a tropical paradise Cleveland is! Last time I was there my car was literally covered in parrot and cockatiel feces. What a complete load of crap!
So, now that I'm pretty suspicious of the whole story, I ask who he attended the Indians game with. It seems that he went there with his friend "Chris", or is it "Kris", the lawyer. Chris the Lawyer! He might as well have told me he went with Hawkman and the ghost of Old Yeller. I would be a lot more likely to believe that than I would that some smartypants attorney is going to put up with the sort of breach of trust issues that the Beluga is known for. I hope that "Chris the Lawyer" wasn't so blind drunk that he started believing that the Beluga was going to take him over to "The Thirsty Parrot" and all the pina coladas were going to be on him. I've got some news for "Chris the Lawyer"....
So, he happened to mention some other acquaintances of mine from that area who have never promised me a cool, fruity beverage and then cruelly renegged on that offer; and I asked where he was when he saw them.
Now, this is where it gets really pathetic. He tells me he ran into them at a Cleveland Indians baseball game-which is believable.
So, I ask, what were they doing there? To this, he stammers, it was actually at a bar near Jacobs Field-still believable.
Which one? The Thirsty Parrot! Come on! What kind of fucking moron would name a bar in downtown Cleveland "The Thirsty Parrot"?! We all know what a tropical paradise Cleveland is! Last time I was there my car was literally covered in parrot and cockatiel feces. What a complete load of crap!
So, now that I'm pretty suspicious of the whole story, I ask who he attended the Indians game with. It seems that he went there with his friend "Chris", or is it "Kris", the lawyer. Chris the Lawyer! He might as well have told me he went with Hawkman and the ghost of Old Yeller. I would be a lot more likely to believe that than I would that some smartypants attorney is going to put up with the sort of breach of trust issues that the Beluga is known for. I hope that "Chris the Lawyer" wasn't so blind drunk that he started believing that the Beluga was going to take him over to "The Thirsty Parrot" and all the pina coladas were going to be on him. I've got some news for "Chris the Lawyer"....
