EagerBrooks Exploits

It's amazing to see how quickly a 3 year old on just a little meth can move. Those ghost crabs don't stand a chance! I've never seen anything else even come close to touching one.

The new location is shaping up really nicely, and Fay seems happy with it.
This is a big relief for K and I, since she can be really violent when her "wab" is not working. It is cute how she says "wabwatory" and "meff", but it's still a pretty cutthroat business.
Fay takes her "wab" work almost as seriously as her mother takes her chickens, and I think most of you know about Chica Blanca and her domination of the Florida and Texas cockfighting circuit.

Here's a photo of the new lab, and one happy little chemist!
















You should see how many of those plastic sand buckets she has! Granted, they are filled with highly flammable liquid, but it's still sort of cute how she uses sand toys.

Anyway, that was a few weeks back, and we just had our first batch party. Photos below, and visit South Texas!

I actually wrote this information a few months back for K's aunt and uncle, who graciously volunteered to watch Fay for a whole weekend for us! It gives a little insight into what parenting is all about. I'm thinking I might send it to that Parent magazine also.

Fay’s “Routine”

Morning

The time that Fay wakes up is entirely dependent on how late you went to bed the night before. If you were up rather late, she will be up at just before the crack of dawn. If you are up and ready to get the day started she will need her beauty sleep, and you will probably have to wake her up. This is not unlike waking up a lion, or a hibernating grizzly. Luckily, she has neither teeth nor claws, and usually perks up almost instantly.

Once awake, she will need a program and a snack. Her programs are usually on channels 290-300, and you will have to read them to her so that she can decide which entertainment she is in the mood for that day. Spiderman, Ni Hao Kai-Lan,Superman, Mickey Mouse and that goddamn Dora are all favorites. As for the snack, you will find numerous options in the cupboard above the counter on the sink side. She likes Special K bars. Other good options are going to get pancakes at Whataburger, or donuts. As a warning, once she eats something in the morning you will then be treated to approximately 18 hours of continuous talking, so be sure to have a lot of caffeine, or alcohol, first thing in the morning.

All Day

This is actually the easiest part of the day. Fay will do whatever, and go wherever you want to go. Even going to the doctor for a shot is acceptable for her, as long as there are stickers. We will give you a list of various options with maps, and you guys can decide which ones you want to try to take on. She does have a few rules that we make her try to follow:

· She must hold your hand in any parking lot.

· No smoking.

· No chewing tobacco.

As another warning, Fay is going to try to get you to a mall or Wal-Mart or Target at some point. This is a place where you must be very careful, or your bank accounts will all be overdrawn. While her argument that she needs both a Spiderman and a Barbie laptop is very convincing, she really does not need both.

Fay will tell you that she doesn’t want to eat lunch, but she will usually do it anyway.

Naps are somewhat questionable lately. If she starts cussing, or tries to shank you, she may have to lay down for an hour or two. However, recently she has been pretty good even without a nap. You will definitely need a nap though, so you may want to try to persuade her to lie down for a little while.

Evening

This is a time where things can get tricky. This is also a time when Fay likes to watch her programs. Favorites at this time include Max & Ruby, Hannah Montana, Suite Life and her new favorite Tom & Jerry. I recommend Tom & Jerry if you can find it as the other options often lead to thoughts of suicide after you have watched about 10 minutes. These programs also give you the chance to prepare dinner, or better yet, to have happy hour.

She will eat dinner, as long as you time when you pull her away from the television properly. After dinner, we usually let her call the shots. She likes to play games, do artwork, play Barbies, hide and seek (she is not a very good hider, but you have to pretend she is), and read books. I recommend avoiding the book reading at this time, as you will be doing plenty during bedtime.

Another option at this time is a bath. She likes taking a bath, and will often be parading around nude before you even start running bath water. She prefers that the water is lukewarm, no hot! She has about 150 toys that she can take in the tub, or you can trick her and say you’re going to attempt the “fastest bath ever”. Either option usually works. If you decide on the option where she plays in the tub be prepared to get wet, and be prepared to be in the bathroom a while. You will definitely want to spray the “No Tangle” spray if you plan on combing her hair.

Bedtime

Fay’s bedtime is supposed to be at 8:00, but this often ends up being around 9:00. We usually try to get her into pajamas by 8, and in her room ready for bed. We let her pick 2 books to read, and she will pick the 2 longest books she can find. Hopefully you will not be treated to the Spanish-English dictionary that she has, as that is grueling. We usually read in her bed, so that she can tone down. She will ask you about 500 questions about whatever book you read to her.

After reading is over, it is singing time. Favorites are “Twinkle Twinkle”, “Baa Baa Black Sheep” and “Ace of Spades” by Motorhead. She will also sing to you, if you are interested. She knows “Little Box” “Twinkle” “Baa Baa” “Old McDonald” and “Jack of Diamonds”.

At this point, you can attempt to leave the room, after explaining that tomorrow is not today, and giving her a quick rundown of the next day’s itinerary. She will then call you back in there for various questions and requests about 15-20 times before she falls to sleep.

BEER SEEMS TO CALM HER RIGHT DOWN

Labels: "awesome parents", parenting, toddlers